I'm having the worst money problems right now. I am pretty much penniless. I don't know where money for this, that and the other thing is going to come from. If my family wasn't helping me out right now I would be fucked. Very fucked indeed.
Unbelievably, however, I am not in bed with the covers pulled over my head, shutting my feelings off or eating them all up omnomnom. I would have been a year ago. Instead I spent the day crying, raging and loudly proclaiming my intents of suicide because fuck this shit! YOU'LL BE SORRY WHEN I'M DEAD, LIFE, YOU'LL REGRET THIS! But look at me all expressing emotion and communicating how I am feeling. Hot damn! Even after I slipped while chopping onion for dinner (I even made dinner! wtf.) and nearly beheaded my middle finger (let's enjoy that imagery and symbolism for a second shall we? ......) well I started sobbing again because LIFE, YOU'LL REGRET THIS! Y U NO LOVE ME? but then even though this money stuff feels like the end of the world, and I don't see a solution in my near future but I am feeling kind of okay.
I am tripping myself out. I am so mature and shit.
It could be worse. It could certainly be better. But this is where I am right now and this is my reality. One foot infront of the other, one day is a day closer to the solution and MONEY.
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